


sober heart

by ulta



Series: remember me (in your heart) [2]
Category: VICTON (Band)
Genre: Drunken Confessions, M/M, No angst zone, Vomiting, nothing dirty (except the vomit) subin is my baby
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-01
Updated: 2018-05-01
Packaged: 2019-04-30 17:22:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,651
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14501856
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ulta/pseuds/ulta
Summary: — drunk or sober, loving Chan is the only thing on his mind





	sober heart

**_A drunk mind_ **

  
  
  


“Chan, I want to get wasted tonight,” Subin says, like it’s the most casual thing in the world and Chan turns to him oddly, as if he sprouted another head from his neck.

 

“Why the sudden want?” The older asks him curiously, knowing how much Subin despises the taste of alcohol, and if he notices the slight blush that colours Subin’s cheeks, he chooses to ignore it. “You’ve never liked getting drunk, and you’re barely legal.”

 

“I’m an adult,” Subin says simply, ignoring the way Chan’s mouth opens once again to try to add anything else. “I know you don’t see me as one, but I am. I’ve been one for a month now, it should’ve been enough time to adjust to it.”

 

Chan throws his hands up in surrender before turning back to Subin, his eyes giving that same flash of curiosity that Subin has come to associate with him. “Why me?”

 

“Seungwoo is an angry drunk, Seungsik would never let me drink, Sejun’s hangovers last five days, Hanse is an annoying drunk, and Byungchan can’t even handle the smell of alcohol,” Subin responds almost instantly, like he had the answer scripted in his head and practiced to perfection. The younger’s eyes are huge, staring at Chan like a silent prayer, a silent beg. Chan doesn’t even question it.

 

_ Maybe I just want to spend time with you. _

 

———

 

Subin gets shit-faced drunk too quickly, ten minutes and seventeen shots in and he’s already a flushed mess, clingy desperately to Chan like his life depends on it, and the way he swings around, incapable of balancing on his own, proves to Chan the chance that his life does depend on it. “Subin, I think we should go home now,” he advises gently, repositioning Subin’s arm on his shoulder. “You look sick.”

 

“Even sick,” Subin slurs, a sense of confidence that could never come out of his sober mind washes over him. “I’m still the cutest, right?”

 

Chan smiles supportively, his mouth pursed into a fine line. “Always.”

 

Subin throws up on the floor.

 

———

 

Chan gently pats on Subin’s back in a washroom stall, watching as he regurgitates all the soju he had taken in, mixed together with the slightly burnt meal Seungsik made them for dinner. “Subin, you’re really not well, let’s go home.” Chan eyes the clock on the wall, with luck, he could probably get Subin into bed by 11pm and hopefully avoid the other’s wrath when they return home at midnight.

 

“Can’t,” Subin chokes out, tears streaming down his face silently, leaning against the wall of the toilet stall in pain. “Can’t stop.”

 

“Why not?” Chan asks, alarmed and afraid of making Subin an alcoholic. “Subin, why are you drinking so much?”

 

“I want.” Subin stumbles over his words before hiccupping and laughing loudly to himself. “Always what I want,” he chuckles between the tears, his laughter half-hearted and broken. “Always.” His voice reduces to a volume barely above a whisper and he cries harder. Chan reaches out and takes him into his arms on the bathroom floor, covered in vomit and the lingering scent of soju. Chan scrunches up his nose and tries to ignore it, focusing instead on the lightweight in his arms.  _ Only for Subin. _

 

“I want to forget,” Subin says, groggily wiping at his own eyes and staring at Chan with a bravado that dies as fast as it appears.

 

“About?” Chan prompts, looking at him in sympathy, stroking his hair in an attempt to comfort him, before tearing his hands away like they’re on fire after seeing the way Subin cries harder at his touch.

 

“You.”

 

———

 

Subin blacks out shortly after the confession and his sober friend is left to bring him back to the dorm, arm carelessly thrown over his back as he drags Subin home. His mind is only a little numb and the coward within him had considered calling for Sejun to help him bring Subin home so that he wouldn’t be left alone with the child.

 

“Are you dumb?” Sejun asks through the phone. “You’re gonna run from him? That’s just foolish, good night, Chan.” He hangs up.

 

Chan stops in his path, setting Subin down on the nearest bench he can find, panting slightly from lugging the weight of an extra body for the last ten minutes, the dorm is in sight and he sighs in relief.

 

“Come on, Subin,” he mumbles under his breath after minutes of resting, he checks his watch, if he rushes now, he could get them both home in ten minutes. “Just a little more to go.”

 

And then Subin’s eyes are open, as big as Chan remembers them, he looks less sick and much more alive now and Chan turns away from him, with the tips of his ears burning red, he’s grateful for the night sky that covers them like a blanket, effectively hiding Chan’s awful flush.

 

“Chan?” He asks in exhaustion, he still sounds tipsy, but definitely less drunk than earlier. Chan shushes him, ignoring the heat of the night, as well as his own emotions. They can wait.

 

“Come on, let’s get you home.”

 

———

 

As soon as Subin wakes up properly, with slivers of sunlight filtering through the blinds and the near-discreet snoring of his roommates nearby ringing in his ears, the memories rush back to him almost instantly and suddenly, he wants to return to sleep and never wake up. He buries his face into his blankets and lets a slightly choked sob escape his lips, cursing whoever made him for making him both a lightweight and an honest drunk.

 

“Hey,” someone says from behind him, crawling up to his bed and pressing himself against his back, pressing his chin into Subin’s shoulder. It’s Sejun, smiling sympathetically at him. “How’s the hangover?” Subin knows Sejun’s hangovers last weeks after he drinks a single glass and silently thanks the gods for not making him  _ as _ much of a lightweight as Sejun.

 

“Terrible,” Subin complains softly. “And I think I fucked up something while I was at it.”

 

“You should never drink that much,” Sejun notes matter-of-factly. “And what did you do, can’t have been that bad.”

 

“Sejun, I told Chan I love him.” Sejun has the decency to shut his mouth, looking at the younger in a mild horror, like a  _ You-Did-What  _ type of look and if he has anything else to say, Subin is glad that he’s interrupted by the opening of the door.

 

Until he realises that it’s Chan, staring at the way Sejun lies on him domestically with an odd mix of hurt and confusion on his face. Sejun looks between them and connects the dots. “Well,” he says a little too quickly, scrambling up from his position. “This is getting really awkward so I’m gonna go now.” With that, Sejun leaves the room, clearly rushing to the living room where Byungchan and Hanse are to tell them the whole story. Subin sighs at his friend’s antics before facing a downcast Chan.

 

“Are you and Sejun,” he begins quietly, after a long period of silence. “Are you fucking?” He asks, straight to the point with his eyebrows wiggling, or at least, there was an attempt. Subin almost spits on his pillow in shock, staring at the boy with widened eyes.

 

“That’s gross, Chan, he’s twenty-two!”

 

Chan dampens, “so am I.”

 

“Do you guys want us to like, leave the house while y’all sort this out?” Hanse asks from the other end of the door. “In case you haven’t realised, you’ve been pining after each other for six years.”

 

“Shut up, Hanse, don’t ruin it for them!” Byungchan snaps before speaking to Chan and Subin from across the door once more. “We’re going out, see ya!”

 

“They’re so annoying,” Subin laughs anxiously, attempting to break the awkward tension between them. “Chan, if this is about the night before then I’m–”

 

“What?” Chan snaps, suddenly irritated by the casual way Subin speaks to him. “Sorry? It meant nothing? I don’t love you, at all?”

 

Subin recoils and Chan instantly feels a shock of guilt coursing through his veins. “If that’s what this is about then fuck it, Chan. I don’t know where you got the ridiculous idea that I’m fucking Sejun but I can assure you.”

 

“You’re the only one I’ve ever liked.”

 

Chan swears softly before looking at the hurt boy that lies on the bed, glaring at him half-heartedly with those big eyes that Chan loves so much. He awkwardly walks to the bed and sits next to Subin, stroking his back and Subin lets off another sob.

 

“Stop,” Subin mumbles. “I don’t want false hope.”

 

“Maybe it’s not false,” Chan answers quickly, right before pressing his lips to Subin’s forehead, and Subin properly cries this time, burying his face into Chan’s shirt.

 

_ Maybe I just want to spend time with you too. _

 

———

 

“For the record,” Sejun says later, after the three get caught by Chan, pressing their ears to the door long after they said they would leave. Subin chuckles good-naturedly, knowing full-well from the start that the three would be too intrusive to even attempt giving them time alone. “I’m quite miffed by how offended you were, everyone would love to fuck me.”

 

“That’s weird,” Hanse says, scrunching up his nose as Sejun stares pointedly at Byungchan, as if waiting for a reaction from the clueless boy, blinking at the two of them.

 

“That’s not the point, Sejun,” Subin says cheekily. “Chan is the only one for me.”

 

“Okay, now that’s weird,” Sejun whines, before returning to leering at Byungchan. 

 

“You’re all so fucking gay,” Chan complains.

 

“You’re dating a guy.”

 

“Moot point.”

 

“Anyway, what are we gonna say to Seungwoo and Seungsik?” Byungchan asks innocently, ignoring the way Sejun ogles him, that or he doesn’t notice at all.

 

“Nothing,” Subin says simply. “It’s perfect like this.”

  
  
  


**_Speaks a sober heart_ **

**Author's Note:**

> lolol wrote this while I was drunk so it kinda bad!
> 
> victon's coming back soon! *heart eyes heart eyes* please support them in everything that they do uwu!!!!


End file.
